While performing in a comedy sketch at the 15th annual Big Slick Celebrity Weekend charity fundraiser in Kansas City, Missouri, with Kelce, Sudeikis, in character, popped a question referencing Kelce’s relationship plans with Swift: “Hey Travis, real talk OK, just the guys here … When are you going to make an honest woman out of her?”
The “Ted Lasso” star also referenced Kansas City Chiefs’ kicker Harrison Butker’s recent commencement speech, in which the athlete suggested the highest calling for a woman is marriage and motherhood. “Taylor doesn’t need to be working anymore,” Sudeikis said. “I know your kicker agrees with me.”
Sudeikis was playing a character, and Kelce didn’t seem bothered by the joke, smiling along and not giving an answer. Still, mental health and relationship experts previously told USA TODAY we should keep in mind not every couple wants to get married and that’s OK. Furthermore, it’s probably time to retire the phrase “make an honest woman out of her,” which traditionally means to marry a woman that you are having sex with, per the Cambridge Dictionary’s website.
“Sudeikis is hilarious,” wrote one X user. “But seriously, Taylor Swift doesn’t need anyone to ‘make an honest woman’ out of her. She’s doing just fine on her own.”
Not everyone wants to get married
Sudeikis’ joke comes at a time when many are abandoning marriage. Research has shown marriage in the U.S. has steadily declined, and a 2019 report found three in 10 people view it as unimportant.
One high-profile example is Hollywood duo Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell. Nearly 40 years later, they’re going strong without nuptials.
“For decades, people have been exploring less traditional forms of relationship style,” Antonia Hall, a psychologist, relationship expert and author of “The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life,” previously told USA TODAY “Societal views on cohabitation have become more favorable, and we are becoming more accustomed to varying familial paradigms. We are slowly understanding that there is no one-size-fits-all way of being in relationships.”
Still, those who don’t conform face a social stigma, particularly from well-intentioned friends and family.
According to experts, society operates in fear when people reject clearly defined categories. “When they don’t fit into a neat box, we resort to judging them,” Weena Wise, a licensed clinical marriage and family therapist, previously told USA TODAY.
Why marriage isn’t for everyone
Traditional marriage has long been hailed the ideal structure for companionship, security and family. However, psychologists say that’s not true for every couple.
When considering whether to get married, it’s important to remember marriage is rarely effortless and easy. It takes work from both people in order for it to succeed.
If a couple does choose to get married, that’s great − but it doesn’t mean the work of keeping the relationship healthy and thriving stops.
“Marriage can be seen as a goal accomplished that no longer requires effort, which couldn’t be further from the truth,” Hall previously told USA TODAY. As a result, “it’s all too common in long-term relationships and marriages that couples stop trying and take each other for granted.”
People also choose to forgo marriage for a variety of reasons, including financial constraints to fear of divorce.
For some, like Hawn, the idea of being legally bound to someone feels too constrictive. In 2016, she said, “I chose to stay (and) Kurt chose to stay. And we liked the choice… After all these years, you think, ‘Why (would we)? It’s not working? What is marriage going to do?’ ”
According to Wise, it can be “psychologically freeing when you’re not married but still choose to stay together.”
“It’s because you know that person can make a choice to leave, and they don’t. They actively choose to stay,” she previously told USA TODAY. “I applaud individuals who avoid the marriage matrix and avoid getting married too soon or for the wrong reasons. You can absolutely still be perfectly happy or in a healthy relationship without being married.”
